Living hell
by munrodegrassi
Summary: Clare's life isnt exactly a walk in the park. When things get worse, and Eli finds out how can he help her? Will he be successful or is life going to get in the way?
1. Chapter 1

**AN: Its a little short but, i wanted to know what you guys thought. Read and review please! Also Clare is OOC.**

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><p>Hell. That's all that comes to mind when I think of my life. It had been about three days since I was lying on the floor, broken. But I knew it wouldn't be long before he would do it again and I would be in the same position. It had gone on for a very long six years, my fathers beatings. Every time it would be worse, but it didn't hurt because I was numb. I had no feelings the only fraction I had left went to Eli. I love him but, he deserves so much better, someone who could give him their whole heart instead of the tattered, broken one which was the only thing I could give him. Eli always told me he loved me but I knew he was lying. How could he love someone so heartless like me? It didn't make sense, like they say, 'If something seems like its too good to be true, it usually is.' that's how it is with Eli.<p>

"Earth to Clare!" Adam yelled from the seat in front of me. We were supposed to be working in partners for our chemistry assignment but I wasn't paying attention.

"Huh, oh right. What are we supposed to be doing again? I wasn't paying attention." I quickly regained focus.

"Yeah I noticed. We're supposed to put these chemicals into the beaker and it should make a rainbow colored smoke." Adam explained.

"Okay, sounds simple enough." I said.

"You'd think it would be simple, but we have to measure the exactly correct amount or it could explode."

"Awesome." I said sarcastically.

"Well lets get to work." Adam said, rubbing his hands together with a look of excitement on his face. Somehow we managed to get through the experiment without the beaker exploding. Which I have no clue how that happened with my mind always somewhere else, wondering when I would have to go home to another beating. But it was most likely because Adam did most of the work. The bell rung and we exited the classroom.

"Are you alright Clare you've been really out of it lately." Adam asked with worry laced in his tone.

"Of course, I'm just a little tired." I lied.

"Okay, well I have to go my next class is that way." He pointed in the other direction.

"Bye." I called out to him. I walked to my locker before heading to my next class I had which was World History. When I opened my locker a note fell out. I reached down to grab it from the ground and unfolded it.

_Clare. You're a fat ugly whore. No one likes you go die somewhere._

I stared down at the note and looked around me but I couldn't tell if anyone nearby had written the note. Tears were forming in my eyes but I held them back because I could see Eli walking towards me from down the hall. Quickly, I threw the note back into my locker, Eli smirked at me.

"Hey gorgeous. What's up?" He asked. I gave him a fake smile but he saw right through it, he always did.

"What's the matter?" Eli asked but before I could respond he leaned down and picked up a crumpled piece of paper. His eyes read over it and his expression turned to anger.

"Who wrote this?" Eli yelled. When he said this I flinched and backed away, he sounded just like my father when he was mad at me for no reason. Eli noticed that I moved away and softened his tone.

"I'm sorry I yelled, its just how could someone write this about you its completely false."

"Because its true." I whispered, but he heard me.

"What Clare, no its all lies. How could you think those things about yourself?" Eli asked sympathetically. I just looked down and shook my head, he gently took my chin in his hand and lifted it so my eyes were looking in his.

"Clare you are beautiful, anyone who thinks different is either stupid, blind, or jealous."

"Thank- you Eli."

"For what?" He asked confused.

"For caring."

"I've always cared about you. I love you." Eli said lovingly.

"I love you too." I smiled, but on the inside I wasn't so sure if he would still care about me if he knew how messed up me and my life was.

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><p><strong>AN: The next chapter will go more in depth about Clare and her Dad. Review please!<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

Eli walked me to my next class and when we got there he gave me a quick kiss and headed in the other direction for his class. I sat down at a desk and the teacher began to talk about something, but I couldn't focus, my mind was still on that note. Before I knew it the bell rang signaling the class was over and it was time for lunch. Eli and Adam were waiting for me by the door of the classroom so we could all walk to lunch together. They started talking about some comic book so I just pretended to be interested. When we got there I looked around for a table we could sit at but decided sitting outside would be better. Eli and Adam proceeded to go wait in a line while I told them I would wait outside at one of the picnic benches. A few minutes later they came out of the cafeteria with food in their hands, Eli a cheeseburger and fries, while Adam had chicken strips also with fries. They saw me and walked over to the table, Eli next to me and Adam across. Both of them started eating their food and Eli looked over to the empty space in front of me.

"Aren't you going to eat anything?" He asked curiously.

"Not hungry." I lied.

"Clare, you were telling me in Chemistry that you were starving now you don't want to eat? What's up with you?" Adam asked.

"Nothing, I'm just not hungry anymore." I said.

"Is this about that note in your locker? Because none of it was true, you're not fat." Eli said.

"What note?" Adam asked.

"Some douche put a note in Clare's locker saying that she's a fat whore who shouldn't live." Eli said now frustrated.

"What? Clare you know that's not true." Adam said.

"Seriously Clare, at least eat some of my food." Eli coaxed. I thought about it for a minute looking from the food to his face back to the food. I decided one note wasn't the end of the world, and neither was half a burger and some fries.

"Fine I guess you're right." I shrugged and took a bite out of Eli's cheeseburger.

"Good I don't want you to starve yourself because of one stupid person." Eli smiled at me and I half smiled back while chewing. I had some fries and decided I was finished. Lunch was now over so I went over to my locker to get my English notebook. When I opened it, out fell another piece of paper, when I picked it up and unfolded it I saw it was another note with the same handwriting.

_Saw you pigging out at lunch today. Keep packing on those pounds. God you're so gross, how can you live with yourself?_

My eyes welled with tears and I ran to the bathroom , with my notebook in hand. I opened the door and checked to see if there was anyone in the stalls, when I saw there wasn't I breathed a sigh of relief and let out a sob. Then an idea popped into my head, I wouldn't be fat if I didn't eat. But Eli would surely notice if I didn't, then I thought of Katie and what Marisol had said about her 'urge to purge' and thought if it worked for her maybe it could work for me. I went into one of the stalls making sure to lock it behind me, and turned around. I leaned over the toilet and shoved my fingers down my throat, not a minute after I began gagging and vomit filled the toilet. My throat burned from the stomach acid but it was worth it, I was going to be thinner in no time. I flushed the toilet and unlocked the stall, I walked over to the sink to rinse my mouth out and wash my hands. Afterwards, the warning bell rang meaning I had two minutes to get to class or I'd be late. I walked out of the bathroom and to Ms. Dawes class, taking notice that Eli and Adam were already here.

"Hey where were you?" Adam asked curious, Eli looked up as well seemingly interested in my answer.

"Nowhere I just had to stop by my locker." I partially lied.

"Oh okay well Dawes just assigned us this worksheet we have to do in our groups. So do you guys want to get started?" Adam inquired.

"Sure." Eli and I answered at the same time, we looked at each other and smiled. We got started on the worksheet about a book we were currently reading. It was easy enough seeing as how Eli and Adam had already finished, but I hadn't had much time to read at home considering the circumstances. When Eli and Adam had announced they finished the worksheet I nodded and looked over it to see what they had written.

"Okay class, you should be finished by now please hand it in when you are exiting the classroom." Ms. Dawes announced. "Until the bell rings you guys can talk amongst yourselves."

"So Adam, how is Drew after the whole gang thing?" Eli asked.

"He's getting better, but still not one hundred percent." He responded, Eli nodded. I turned around in my seat and began to finish reading the novel we were assigned and had to finish by the end of next week. The boys continued to talk about guy stuff, the bell rang and it was the end of the day. Something I had been dreading not that school wasn't a nuisance either. I got up out of my seat as well as Eli and Adam, Adam went his separate way from Eli and I because his mom had a meeting with principle Simpson about Drew.

"Are you sure you're alright Clare? You've been zoning out a lot lately." Eli said worriedly.

"Yes I'm fine Eli, stop worrying." I reassured him.

"You're my girlfriend I love you, I want to make sure you are okay. If anything was wrong you'd tell me right."

"Of course." We walked out of Degrassi and into the parking lot where Morty was. I got in and so did Eli. He put the key in the ignition and drove off towards my house.


	3. Chapter 3

The drive to my house was silent, I looked over at Eli and he looked like something was on his mind. Sooner than I would have liked, we were at my house and my dads car was in the drive way. My face must have shown worry and fear because Eli noticed.

"Clare why do you look so scared?" He asked.

"I'm not scared. Uh can we go to the park for a little while?" I asked trying to prolong going home. Eli looked at me skeptically.

"Sure. Want to stop at the Dot first maybe get a little snack?" Eli asked.

"Yeah, sounds good." I replied. Eli drove away from my house and in the direction of the Dot. On the way there we made small talk about school and Ms. Dawes class, and about Fiona and Adam. I really hoped that they worked out because Adam really needed someone who could make him happy. We arrived at the Dot and got out of the car, Eli came around to my side and opened the door for me. Then he held open the door to the Dot too, I smiled and blushed at him and he smirked back. We sat down at a table next to the front windows and a waiter came and took our orders.

"What would you guys like to order?" The waiter asked.

"I'll have a double cheeseburger with a side of fries and a coke." Eli said. Both Eli and the waiter looked at me expectantly.

"And I will have a garden salad and water" I said. Eli gave me a weird look but I turned my head to the waiter and smiled at him before he turned around and left.

"Is something wrong Clare? Cause usually you get a cheeseburger." He said. I quickly made something up so he wouldn't be suspicious.

"No I'm fine, I just feel a little nauseous."

"Oh, well I can take you home if you feel sick." Eli replied.

"Uh no I'll be fine." I said even faster than before. Eli looked at me strangely again but shook it off. The waiter came with our food and we began eating. Soon we were finished and were just waiting for our waiter to come back with the bill.

"I'll be right back I have to go to the restroom." I said. Eli nodded and I got up, walking to the back of the room. I opened the door and again, made sure no one was there. Quickly, I ran into one of the stalls and emptied my stomach. After I flushed the toilet, I walked to the sink to wash my hands and mouth. I exited the bathroom and saw Eli sitting at the empty table waiting for me.

"Hey, ready to go?" He asked, totally unsuspecting of what I had just done.

"Yup lets go." We left and got in Morty to my house. On the way there I started to get nervous, because I wasn't sure if my dad would be home. Sometimes he would come home then leave until late at night. The car was silent, I looked over at Eli and he was just staring at the road. I faced forward and looked out the window, Eli looked over at me and had a worried expression on his face.

"Are you okay Clare? You look nervous." Eli asked.

"Yes I'm fine." I lied. I was all over the place inside, if my dad was home I knew what would happen. And if he wasn't it would just come later, most likely worse. Eli would never find out about that though, he would probably go insane if he did. Eli just nodded and turned his gaze back towards the road. Soon we were approaching my house and I was afraid to look to see if his car was in the driveway. Once I gained enough courage to look, I breathed a sigh of relief. His car was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing because of what would happen later. Eli looked at me curiously because of my sigh.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"Um, nothing. Do, you want to come in?" I asked, trying to change the subject and it worked.

"Sure." Eli shrugged, putting the car in park and turning off the ignition. We got out of his car and went up to the door, I unlocked it and walked in. I walked to the stairs and up to my room, Eli following behind me.

"So, this is your room. I've never been in here before."

"Is it what you expected?" I asked.

"No, not at all. I expected pink painted walls, with posters of Justin Beiber everywhere, and stuffed animals and girly stuff everywhere. But your room isn't like that at all, I like it." He was right my room wasn't pink with girly frills everywhere, it was painted a dark purple with band posters on the walls.

"Thanks. So do you want to watch a movie or something?" I asked.

"Sure, what movie." Eli replied.

"Uh how about _The Uninvited_?" I suggested.

"You do know that's scary right?" He asked.

"Yes, why?" I asked not sure why he would ask if I knew it was scary.

"I just thought you didn't like scary movies, most girls don't." He replied.

"Well I'm not most girls." I said.

"That you are not and I'm glad." Eli said.

"Okay then, lets get this movie started." I said, then put the DVD into the player and pressed play. The movie began and an hour quickly passed by. Eli and I were laying on my bed watching the movie when I heard the front door open and slam shut. My eyes widened and I shot up from the bed.

"Eli my dad is home!" I whisper-yelled, he just looked at me.

"Eli, you have to go. Now." He looked confused.

"How am I supposed to get out of here without him seeing me?" I thought about it for a second.

"The window?" I said.

"Right." Eli quickly went out the window and down the tree next to it. Then my door was thrown open by my dad, he was drunk.

"Claaare. I saw that boy leave." He slurred and came closer.

"Okay and, he's my boyfriend." I said.

"You were having sex with him weren't you." He accused.

"No I wasn't. We were just watching a movie."

"Yes you were, you're a whore just like your mother." He said, he grabbed my hair and threw me to the ground.

"No, I'm not." I protested. He continued to hit me and punch me in the stomach, then he kicked me in the ribs so hard I couldn't breathe. I was gasping for air but he just laughed and did it again, each time harder and harder. The pain was unbearable and he just laughed at me, laying on the floor cringing away from him trying to get away from the monster that was my father. Finally he stopped and walked out of my room leaving me by myself bleeding and broken on the floor once again, for the first time in three days. It was inevitable, it was my life ever since my mom left me with my dad for some rich doctor in Miami. I slowly and excruciatingly got up from the floor and limped into the bathroom. I inspected my face in the mirror and saw that there were no bruises, so I wouldn't have to cover my face with make-up tomorrow. My legs and arms were the same, but I knew my stomach would have major damage. I lifted my shirt up carefully and saw the already purple splotches all over. There was one particular spot where it was the darkest and hurt the most, right where my ribs should be, hopefully it wasn't broken. I decided I should take a shower to get the blood off so I slowly peeled off my clothes and got in. I just stood there for a minute, then I slowly slid down the wall and sat down the water pouring down on me. My head in my hands, I sobbed for what felt like hours. Finally I had to get out, I gently wrapped a towel around me. I stuck my head out of the door a little to check if my dad was in sight. He wasn't so I silently tip-toed down the hall to my room and got dressed, it was more difficult than I thought it would be. I could barely raise my arms without the excruciating pain shooting up my body, but it had to be done. It took every bit of strength I had left to do it but I did, then I collapsed on my bed and immediately regretted it because it made the pain come back. My phone went off a few times but there was no way I was getting up right now.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: Im so sorry its taken so long for me to update, ive been really busy with school sice its my first year. Anyway, here's chapter 4!**

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><p>I tried to sleep but it was impossible with the searing pain and thoughts of my dad. I tossed and turned and when I finally did fall asleep, images of my dad beating me over and over again filled my dreams, more like nightmares. I shot up from my bed and fell out to the floor with a loud thud, it took everything I had not to yell out in pain. It took about a half hour for me to get back up off the floor and into my bed, there was no way I was getting back to sleep now. How was I going to explain this to Eli? He was sure to notice, and lame excuses like tripping and falling were not going to work. Plus the bruises would look even worse tomorrow, new ones were sure to appear with time. How I would get through tomorrow at school, I had no clue.<p>

The next morning when the sun had started to rise, I was already up and ready for school. But I still had to wait for Eli to pick me up to take us there so I decided to do the homework I hadn't last night. I heard footsteps in the hall and tensed hoping my dad would just pass by and not come in, he didn't. Just continued down the stairs to the kitchen to make a cup of the already brewed coffee. I sighed a breath of relief and finished the remaining homework I had left. Soon I heard the honking of a horn outside and knew from experience it was Morty's horn. I hurriedly put my things in my tote bag and practically ran down the stairs to the front door. I opened the door and went quickly to the hearse, where Eli stood outside the passenger side door smirking, waiting for me. I smiled at him and gave him a quick peck on the cheek before he opened my door for me and I got in. He ran around the front of the car and got in, as I was climbing into the seat I felt the pain from my ribs and let out a nearly silent 'ouch' which Eli thankfully didn't hear. Eli started the car and we left to Degrassi.

"Hey I tried to call you yesterday, but you didn't answer." Eli said. I thought about my phone ringing the previous night, that must have been him.

"Oh sorry, I was really tired yesterday so I went to sleep early." I covered.

"Oh okay." He replied. The rest of the ride was silent until we reached Degrassi. When we got there I unbuckled my seatbelt and stretched out my arms as I yawned , my arms were over my head and it made my shirt rise up slightly. Eli looked over at me in mild

amusement at my tiredness before he saw the purple bruises that were showing. That's when he panicked.

"Oh my god Clare, what happened?" He frantically asked.

"Um nothing." I quickly responded and ran out of the car, trying to avoid him asking anymore questions. But I knew he would whenever he got the chance, which was in English and at lunch. Not to mention after school, but he wouldn't get that chance. I would avoid him all day if I needed to, he couldn't find out about what was going on, no one could. On the way inside I ran into Alli, literally.

"Clare! Sorry I wasn't paying attention. But gosh I feel like I haven't seen you in forever." She squealed then tightly hugged me. I whimpered from the pain of her tight embrace and she let go.

"Are you alright Clare?" Alli asked with a concerned expression.

"Yes I'm fine. I wish everyone would stop asking me that!" I shouted. Alli looked shocked at my outburst, quickly I ran to the girls bathroom. I checked the stalls to make sure no one was there, when I made sure there wasn't I pulled out my make-up bag and covered up the bruises on my stomach. So even if Eli did question me, he wouldn't have tangible proof. When I was sure it was all covered I put my make-up back in my bag and exited the bathroom. It was almost time for first period so I started walking to class, on my way there I spotted Eli in the crowd. I speeded up hoping he wouldn't see me but he did and he called out to me. But I didn't stop walking or turn around, Eli caught up to me though and made me stop.

"Clare come with me, we need to talk." He said.

"No, we don't." I said refusing, I turned away to go in the other direction and walk away. But Eli grabbed my arm, causing me to yell out in pain and he gave me a concerned and worried look.

"Yes we seriously do Clare something is going on with you and, I'm going to find out what it is." He insisted and led me a secluded part of the school.

"This morning, why did you run off? And why is there a huge bruise on your stomach?" He asked. I couldn't decided whether I wanted to tell him about my dad or not. I had to tell him something though, whether it was the truth or not was the question.

"I uh forgot I had to meet Alli in the M.I. lab, and there is nothing on my stomach." I lied, hoping he would believe me.

"I know there was a bruise, I saw it!" Eli exclaimed. He lifted up my shirt to expose my stomach but had a baffled expression on his face when he saw nothing there.

"But there was a dark purple bruise right there!" He exclaimed. I felt bad for lying to him so much these past few days, but even worse was that it was getting easier and easier every time. Eli proceeded to reach out his hand to feel my stomach and when he came in contact with the spot where the bruise was, which was covered in make-up. I flinched away from him when he did and Eli knew something was up, he always did.

"Come on Clare, lets go to my house. Then you can tell me what's going on." He said. I nodded looking down, walking to Morty with Eli by my side. We got in and drove off to his house, in silence. When we got there he got out without a word or look at me. Eli led me upstairs to his room, his parents weren't home. Eli walked into his room and took a seat on his bed and patted the spot next to him, gesturing he wanted me to sit next to him. But instead I sat in the computer chair opposite him. He sighed and shook his head then began to speak.

"Clare please, tell me what's wrong." He begged with a voice that broke my heart. It was then that I finally made the decision that was necessary. I got up from the chair and Eli gave me a questioning look, I told him to wait a minute and went to the bathroom. Quickly but carefully, I took off all the make-up that I had on the bruises and walked back into Eli's room. This time I sat next to him and he turned to face me, I hesitated a moment but didn't change m mind. Slowly with my eyes closed, I lifted my shirt to reveal the purple bruises that my father had left. I heard Eli lowly gasp and I opened my eyes to see his reaction. His face read surprise, shock, and anger.

"HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME ABOUT THIS? I COULD HAVE PROTECTED YOU!" Eli yelled at me. Quickly I moved away from him, he sounded just like my dad. I started whispering '_Please, don't hit me.' _over and over again and I was in the corner of his room rocking back and forth, my hands wrapped around my knees. Eli looked appalled at what I said and kneeled in front of me.

"Clare, I could never hurt you. Ever. I'm sorry I yelled." He whispered to me, looking heart broken.

"I know Eli its just, you sounded just like him." I whispered back, I was looking down at my feet but Eli gently took my chin in his hand and raised it so I was looking in his eyes.

"Who is hurting you Clare? I need to know so I can help you get away from him…so he won't hurt you anymore." He said. I looked away again looking at anything but him.

"I can't tell you." I said. He looked disappointed and sighed.

"Clare, please. If you get hurt again knowing I could have prevented it, I couldn't live with myself." Eli sadly said. I thought about it a minute, deciding what I wanted to do. Eli would kill my dad if he knew it was him but, I didn't want Eli to be worried all the time either, he didn't deserve that. It was decision time, and I had made my choice. I took a deep breathe and looked Eli dead in the eye, this had to be over.

"Its…"

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><p><strong>So what do you guys think? Let me know in a review!<strong>


	5. Chapter 5

**An: If you follow me on twitteer, you know I'm making a Dgerassi Scrapbook. In the scrapbook I am including fan pages. So, please send me your favorite quotes from the show, your thoughts about it, or anything about the show you would like to be seen by the cast. The book will be sent to Epitome to the cast so make sure to show your Degrassi spirit! You can send it to my twitter, or leave it in a review on here or send me a message. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter! Sorry its short.**

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><p>"Its…" I thought it over, making sure I was ready to tell Eli one of my biggest secrets. It was now or never, and I was in too deep to back out now.<p>

"Its…my dad." I finally said. Eli's face showed a look of anger, disbelief, and sorrow.

"Clare, you have to tell someone. He can't keep doing this to you." He said. I sighed.

"Eli I can't tell anyone, promise you won't." I pleaded.

"Clare-"

"Please promise me. You can't tell anyone, not even Adam. I know I should tell someone, just give me a couple of weeks." I reasoned.

"Fine Clare. But three days, not weeks." Eli replied.

"Five days?" I negotiated. He examined my face, and pleading expression.

"Okay, but no later." Eli said. I gave him a grateful expression. Then I changed the subject.

"So, do you want to-" I started, but was interrupted by Eli.

"Not so fast Clare, we still need to talk about this." He said.

"Okay… what did you want to talk about?" I asked hesitantly.

"How long has this been happening?" He questioned.

"Eli…" I said, trying to spare him the details.

"Please, I need to know." Eli begged.

"Six years." I admitted. I could tell he was trying hard not to yell, because his face was red.

"How could you not tell anyone, especially me? You're my girlfriend Clare, I want to protect you. I never want anything bad to happen to you." Eli whispered.

"I know. Its just that my dad, if he even is that anymore. Eli my dad, he's terrifying to me. Never knowing what's going to happen when I get home. Or how bad he's going to beat me. The bruises aren't exactly easy to hide even if they're on my arms under my clothes.

Not to mention if they're on my face its nearly impossible. He blames me if they're on my face, he says that I get in the way. He knows that if anyone were to find out he'd be going to jail."

"That's exactly where he should be, so he can't hurt you anymore. Clare, none of this is your fault. You can stay here whenever and as long as you need to." He said.

"I don't know if I should, I want to but if I don't go home my dad…" I trailed off leaving the sentence unfinished.

"Clare, if you go back he could hurt you even more. I can't let that happen. Just, stay here at least for the night. So I can make sure you're safe. Please." He begged.

"I guess, but just for the night. Then I'll go back." I said.

"Okay good." Eli leaned in for a hug and I didn't protest. But as we continued to hug he started to squeeze tighter and it was starting to hurt.

"Eli, you're hurting me." I told him. He immediately let go and backed away.

"I'm so sorry Clare, I didn't mean to hurt you." He quickly said.

"It's okay. I'm just a little sore." I replied.

"Oh…"

"Did you want to watch a movie or something?" He asked.

" I was actually hoping to go to the park, if that's okay?" I asked.

"Of course." Eli agreed. We went downstairs, towards the front door when it opened. Revealing Cece with her arms filled with groceries.

"Hi, why aren't you two in school?" She asked.

"Hey mom, Clare and I were just on our way to the park." Eli said coolly. She nodded.

"And the reason for that being?" Cece questioned.

"Clare was having a rough day so I suggested we came here." He replied. She thought it over for a second.

"Okay, you kids have fun." She said.

"By the way mom, I was wondering if Clare could stay the night tonight?" Eli asked.

"Of course. Did you want anything specific Clare, I can go back to the store?" Cece asked.

"Oh, no thank you Cece. And thanks for letting me stay the night, I really appreciate it." I responded.

"You're welcome, baby girl. Anytime." After that we walked out the door and into Morty. Getting into the passenger seat was a struggle considering I was still really sore. Eli noticed and came around to help me. When we were both inside and strapped in, Eli started the engine and took off for the nearest park. The ride there was filled with silence except for the low hum of the engine and the radio playing at a low volume. As we arrived at the park, I noticed I would have to go home to get clothes and my dad would be home. I decided to ignore that fact and just got out of the car, with Eli's assistance again. We started walking down a trail that led to a secluded part of the park. Walking down the path, Eli reached out for my hand and I let him take it. Firmly grasping his hand like it was the only thing that could save my life. Which is what it felt like at this point. Eli was my safe haven, the light at the end of the tunnel, my rainbow at the end of a rainy day. He was my everything and if I ever lost him I don't know what I'd do. Walking through the park, I noticed how nice it was outside. The perfect day for a picnic or the beach. The sun was shining, and the sky was a beautiful shade of blue like the ocean. I wished everyday of my life would be this beautiful. The only difference would be that, I wouldn't be suffering because of my selfish father. My mind was scattered and elsewhere, when I fell to the ground.

"Clare! Oh my God are you alright?" Eli asked, kneeling down to help me up. But I couldn't move, I had fallen face first to the floor and all of the bruises screamed out in pain. I cautioned Eli to be incredibly careful because it hurt so much. Eli helped me up and we decided to go back to his house. The ride there was filled with silence once again. Thankfully the drive wasn't long, when we arrived I exited the car and went up to the front door. Waiting for Eli to follow, it took about five minutes. I knew that the fact my father was abusing me was still fresh in his mind. I just hoped that it wouldn't take him forever to get over the shock. Finally he made it to the door and he opened it painfully slow. I just wanted to get to sleep and hopefully find that this was all a nightmare and when I woke up it'd all just go away. But, I knew that wouldn't happen. I could only hope things would get better from this point. Walking upstairs, I saw Cece's face as Eli told her everything. Eli finally came upstairs and entered his room. He looked exhausted, I couldn't blame him though. The days events were draining for both of us.

"So, what did Cece say about all this?" I asked him.

"That you could stay here as long as you need to. And that what your dad did was horrible, which it is, and it shouldn't have happened to anyone especially you Clare. You know that right?" Eli asked. I stood silent, I deserved what happened I'm a terrible person.

"Clare you know what your dad did wasn't okay right? No one deserves that to happen to them. Even the most evil person in the world. None of this was your fault." Eli said. Still, I stood silent. I looked down at my feet and Eli sighed. Changing the subject he said something else.

"So uh, you're going to need clothes to sleep in right?" He asked. I nodded my head and he turned to the dresser on the opposite wall by the door.

"These should fit you alright, here." He gave me sweat pants and a dead hand t-shirt. "The bathroom is down the hall to your left." Eli said.

"Okay, thanks." I replied. I walked down the hallway and found the bathroom. Closing the door, I made sure I locked it. I went to the toilet and leaned over it. Emptying the contents of my stomach, I felt better. Lighter. It was working.


	6. Chapter 6

_I__looked around and saw that I was back in my bedroom. It was dark and the house was eerily silent. That is, until there was a loud booming sound coming from the hall and it sounded like some one was coming up the stairs. Frightened, I tried to hide but it was no use. The door opened and I thought I knew what was coming, but I was completely wrong. In came a dark haired Eli, but instead of his usual smirk and playful demeanor, he had an angry expression spread across his face and he started to yell._

"_You fat bitch! Why do you keep bothering me? I'm too good for you. Not even a bum would want to date you. You're such a waste of a person. Just go die!" He yelled. Why was he being so horrible? He's supposed to love me, unconditionally. _

"_Eli, what's wrong with you? Why are you yelling and being so mean? You said you loved me!" _

"_I lied because I felt sorry for you! Who would want to be with you? No one." Eli replied with a sinister tone. Just then, he faded away and in his place was my father. He came rushing at me and started beating me to a fine pulp. He kept saying 'You're mine' and ' You will never leave me again'. I thought about fighting back but then I thought about what Eli had said and decided it was no use. I deserved it. Why should I live? I'm useless. Then I heard someone calling out my name and suddenly I was back in Eli's bedroom._

"Clare! Clare! Wake up. You have to wake up!" It was Eli's voice. I opened my eyes and Eli was looking down at me with a worried expression on his face.

"Clare what were you dreaming about?" He asked.

"What- what do you mean?" I asked, confused.

"You were thrashing around and screaming in your sleep." Eli said and his voice was laced with worry. I thought about it and decided to not tell him the truth. I had been doing that a lot lately.

"Nothing. I don't remember."

"Clare you're a terrible liar. Now tell me the truth, what were you dreaming about?" He insisted. I sighed.

"Eli I have to go." I said getting up from his bed. I reached up to push my hair out of my face and it was then that I realized I had been crying.

"Clare you can't leave. Its 4 in the morning."

"I can leave whenever I want Eli. You don't own me." I said, remembering what my father had been saying in my dream. Well more like a nightmare.

"Of course I don't own you. No one owns anyone. Where did you get that idea from?" Eli asked. I looked at my feet suddenly incredibly interested in them. Realizing that I had revealed part of what I didn't want him to know. I hoped he wouldn't pick up on that. But apparently I wasn't doing a good job at hiding my panic.

"Wait. That was your dream wasn't it. That someone owned you. Who was it Clare?" He asked. He was putting the pieces together and I had to get out of there before he did. So I picked up my clothes and my bag and headed for the door. But not before he figured it out. My back was to him and I was on the threshold of his bedroom door, fully prepared to leave when he yelled,

"It was your father wasn't it? Wasn't it! God Clare he has so much control over you. And you let him! If you leave, you'll just go straight back to him and to hell. And when he beats you so hard you can't move, you'll call me and guess what. I won't come running to your rescue. Because that all could be avoided if you just stay here!" I could tell he was trying not to cry because his voice started shaking, but he kept going. " Clare if you walk through that door, you'll be dead to me. I've tried to help you but if you won't accept that help, then I can't stay and watch you deteriorate into someone, who, I know you're stronger than. If you would just fight back and stay here, with me, then I can keep you safe. Walk out that door, and you'll be walking out of my life and walking into a life full of hate and hurt and pain. And I won't just stand by and watch." He finished. It was decision time. Either I let Eli protect me from being hurt, or I leave and protect him from being hurt. But ultimately, I knew either decision would hurt us both. I had made my decision. I walked away from him and I heard him intake a sharp breath because he knew what I was doing and I did too. I would rather myself hurt than him being hurt. Maybe I was being selfish, but, this was my life and I had to control it. On my own terms. Not others ultimatums.

Eli's POV:

I couldn't believe it. She had actually walked away. Away from freedom and security and safety. But, looking back I probably shouldn't have said some of the things I said. She could never be dead to me and if she were hurt again and she called me, I would go running to her side and help her. God I'm so stupid. How could I say those things to her? Sure I was mad but that's no excuse. Ugh! I have to call her! I dialed her number but then I heard a phone ringing in the room and realized she didn't take her phone. I had to go after her! I picked up a coat and my keys and left. The night air was freezing and Clare didn't have a jacket. I knew I had to get to her quick. Thankfully, Morty started without any problems and I quickly pulled out of the drive way.

After about 20 minutes I saw a figure huddled on the ground and realized it was Clare. I stopped Morty and ran out to her. She was shaking and crying. I put my arms around her but she quickly moved away. I looked at her overall appearance, shaking, crying, and scared. It broke my heart. Whether she liked it or not, I had to help her.

"Clare its just me. Shh its okay." I repeated to her after I took her in my arms again and she didn't protest, She started sobbing and I was rocking her back and forth, telling her it was all going to be okay. Her dad had really broken her. But I was determined to help her though everything and fix her fragile state of mind. Finally, I convinced her to get in Morty and I carried her bridal style to him. I stealthily opened the door without putting her down and set her on the front passenger seat. I put her seatbelt on and closed the door. I walked around the front to the drivers side and got in. I looked over at Clare and she was still shaking but her sobbing had subsided. I turned the heat on and drove off, back towards my house.


End file.
